My Grandma passed away last Friday at the age of 83. Steven, Dad, and I flew to England for the funeral and to be with Grandad. This is the speech that my dad gave at the funeral:
Firstly, I’d like on behalf of the family to thank everybody for their condolences and support. The response to the news of my mother’s passing has been overwhelming and we are truly grateful. In particular I would like to thank Fred and Yvonne for their tremendous support not only now but for mum and dad over the years.
We are here today to mourn the passing of my mother. She has been so active and lively of mind that her departure seems premature and we are all finding it difficult to comprehend. We can console ourselves somewhat with knowledge that she wanted to go this way. Just recently she told me that a friend had said to her that she would die doing the garden and she had replied “how wonderful”. Although not in the garden she had just been making marmalade, another of her favourite hobbies. She had dreaded the thought that she might not be able to look after herself and would become a burden to others.
She would not have wished for a lot of ceremony or fuss but we do owe her a few words.
We are here most importantly today to celebrate the life of an extraordinary person. More than anybody else I know she always strove to do the right thing, always for no other reason than that it was the right thing to do. She was most committed to her family. As a child I remember how close she was to her mother, my grandmother. She was a perfect partner to dad, it would have been their 60th anniversary in May. She was always a strong and supportive mother and grandmother. Her guidance, advice and values have been so important to me.
Because of an illness she had as a teenager Mum left school at 13 but nobody would know that she lacked much formal education. She was well read and had a very sharp mind. I always remember how at the shop she could calculate, in her head 2 lb 6oz of 2 inch oval nails at 1 shilling and 6 pence per pound and at stock taking time she would add up long columns of numbers and get it all to balance. No wonder she has been so good in the treasurer’s role, a role as many of you know she saw as a guardian of the funds, she collected the money in but kept the cheque book well hidden.
My mother will be missed in the village community. In addition to her work for this church, she has been involved for 60 years with the Women’s Institute and for two long periods acted as the treasurer. But it is not so much as her official roles but the other things that she did that she will be remembered for: the tending of the church garden, the baking, the jam making, the plant growing and the leading role she has played in the church sales. She was always thinking of somebody, visiting an old person or remembering the children’s birthdays at the church.
As we all know, she was unconcerned and never made a fuss about herself. A favourite story of my son’s illustrates this perfectly. On one visit when getting out of the car she had her hand caught in the car door. Chris couldn’t understand why the door would not close until Grandma meekly said, “I think you’ve caught my hand”.
I would like to finish with a few quotes from her friends in the village.
A quote from the neighbour’s, Linda and Ivor:
“A bright light went out in our world when the news reached us that Joyce’s smile will not be in Shenley anymore.”
Their son Martin said:
“It was Joycee and Charlie that took interest in our lives and surrounded us with love, like one of their own. You took it upon yourselves to make sure our infancy was full of affection and delight – always happy to see us.
From Jean Archer the Chairman of the Horticultural Society:
Jean referred to mum at the horticultural show last year where mum stood in for dad to give out the cups because dad was in hospital. Much to mum’s surprise after years and years of entering the cooking competition she actually won the cup as the “Best Cook” in the year she was giving out the prizes!! To quote Jean, “We will miss Joyce enormously; her quiet, gentle manner still gave her great presence, she was there beside you and you were a fine team and a great example to everyone of a fine marriage and family life”.
The full funeral proceedings are here.
While it was certainly a sad event that brought us together, it was still really nice to see the family again. I’m sure Grandma would have been happy to see us smiling and laughing as we traded old stories and lived through new ones. In this light, see the photo album for the trip here.
